I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize