I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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