dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
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