it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
How does one acquire holy water?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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