He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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