that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
