I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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