I smell stomach acid.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
