My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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