girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
