Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
We smell like vodka and hangover
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