You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
