i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
