remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
And then he peed in my hair
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