I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
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You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
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Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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