Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize