i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
