kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
