there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
