is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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