Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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