we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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