you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
