Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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