yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
