It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
