i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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