take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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