apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize