dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
4 words: hood of his car
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
