This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize