Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
