It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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