My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
