: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
