Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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