So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
