When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
