great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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