can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
