if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize