I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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