I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
