the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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