Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Duck Duck Cougar?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize