They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
