just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
