i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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