Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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