I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Randomize
