This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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