It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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