I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
