I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Randomize
