Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
