I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
