Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
