capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
