how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
