Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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