Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
